Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Give or take an inch....

So with the Royal Wedding Part II looming on the horizon, I thought it would be a good time to haul myself into the bridal salon to get my dress on - extra five pounds and all.

Fortunately, I had been down the week before with Little Sister to try on her gown as well as help out with the three young'uns who also needed fittings. This gave me an idea of what LS was looking for and how receptive the seamstress was to change/suggestion. In a word - she's "not." Therefore, I pulled on my dress and was delighted to see the extra winter poundage means I don't have to alter a thing in the bodice, which previously was a little loose.

I'll work on the Winter Five next - I'm just glad we don't have to alter anything!

Then I pull on my shoes. Amazingly I have a pair of metallic strappy low heels - around 2 inches - that give a nice lift without making me an Amazon. As soon as I straightened up I realized, things were going to head south.

The dress was perfect for me when I was in bare feet. It's too short with the heel. Did I mention it is a floor-length dress? Oh - ya, so now we have a lovely little gap and on top of it all, when I stride you can just about see too much of my foot. Not the look for a floor-length gown.

Also, the style of the skirt is very now. The runched, slightly messy, yet elegant look. The only way it works is if it is even and distributed throughout the skirt. Mine was definitely not even or distributed. The seamstress sighs when I point out the obvious flat areas that will need to be fluffed. She groaned when I asked her to re pin an area that was poorly done and then the situation went from bad - to worse. Now the gown is easily two inches too short all the way around.

My seamstress is convinced she can "fix" this - and re pins all the gathers she has just redone to make them shallow and allow the length to fall. The skirt looks like CRAP. The week before when my niece "M&M" tried on her dress, the seamstress tried the same thing - except LS pointed out the point of the dress was the full, soft gathers and they needed to look deliberate, not pinched and hastily done. LS was getting what she wanted and I totally had her back. When you pay over $200 for a dress, sista, you might as well make sure it's what you want!

With this in mind, I know that this is the look LS is going for - I try to direct the short, rotund woman, who is now perspiring and on the verge of wheezing as she pins and re pins the skirt.

Round and round we go - pinning and re pinning. "Fixing" and re"fixing". I even suggest a different look for the skirt which she refuses to do. Now I admit, I'm no seamstress and I'm not even on friendly terms with needle and thread, so I'm conceding when I say to her "I'm going to have to call LS about this and see what she says," and head to the change room. We book an appointment for this week and I head downstairs.

There is a cloud of brides and their mammas and grandmammas all cooing and clucking and hovering. This is the kind of energy that makes me wish I worked in the bridal industry. That and the billions of dollars it makes every year.

Over the din one of the sales associates calls over to me, "How did everything to up there?" I survey the area and debate. Do I tell her I think her seamstress is past her prime? Slander the woman in front of all these customers? Do I start on a rant about how we discussed extra fabric for my dress because I'm tall and obviously they didn't do it and SHOULD HAVE? No - let's see how the "fixing" works because I'm not carrying the dress out with me and I'm not letting my mouth write cheques my bank can't cash.

So it say it. "FINE." And I leave.

After discussing with LS - she calls the salon. Speaks with one of the sales associates who pulls my file. Under height, she tells LS, it says I'm 5'8. THERE is the problem. I'm not 5'8. I don't ever say I'm 5'8 because I'm taller than that. If I say I'm shorter than I am, clothes are always the wrong proportion. I look like I'm wearing my younger sibling's wardrobe.

Now add a 2 inch heel and you've got the beginning, middle and end of the problem.

LS advises the associate that this needs to be fixed immediately. The sales associate points out that I didn't say there was a problem when I left and LS replies that it was only because I didn't want to make a scene in front of other customers - for which they should be appreciative.

So THIS week, I'm going back down to see what miracle this poor woman has had to conjure to make the floor meet my floor-length gown.

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