'Twas the Week Before Christmas....

Christmas is here.

Don't fool yourself - that it's only the 25th, because honey, we spend an entire MONTH preparing for this, so in my opinion, it's all part of Christmas.

So with boxes slowly melting away and Christmas decorations being pulled from their storage, we have a house that is an interesting blend of "Art Reno" and "Martha Stewart's Christmas Nightmare". Every candle I have been given that says "Christmas" is in the large front window, and in the 10 seconds I dash through that room, they call to me, begging for organization, thought, design.

Sure, later.

I have six squares done which is approximately, one...two...three....SIX more than I planned to make. So thumbs up for me! I don't, however, have all the wrapping done. At this point, the dining room has paid for itself as a storage facility for wrapping paper, bows, tape and every present I've bought this year. You have no idea the amount of satisfaction I get in pulling the door closed and walking away from that disaster.

As mentioned previously, I side stepped Christmas cards by issuing Thanksgiving/Halloween/Christmas greetings before we moved. My logic was to provide those near and dear with our new address and be able to relax in the weeks leading up to the "Blessed Day."

While those I have received do have the new address on them, I have vowed that whoever does NOT send me a card this year will NOT receive them from me in the future. Harsh? Yes. Un-Christian? Most likely. Rewarding as all Hell? Definitely. After 17 years of buying, scribing and paying postage for cards, I can say I've done my due diligence for those who have enjoyed and not reciprocated. YOU ARE CUT OFF!

The Big Guy and I have decided to take a year off gifting each other. Basically, the house is a gift enough, aside from the fact that the new TV is my gift to the family. We don't need more and we're trying to share this concept with the boys.

Fortunately, I've heard comments such as "When can I wrap Second Born Son's present Mom?" and "Mom! I have a couple of ideas for Christmas for First Born Son!" They get the idea of giving and we've already told them that in the grand scheme of things, they will not see a lot of presents under the tree this year. Ironically, it hasn't fazed them in the slightest - they are more excited about going to church Christmas Eve!

Which tells me we are heading in the right direction with this parenting thing. Cue the Angel Choir!

Hitting the PAUSE button for Easter

It really occurred to me last night that I'm going to screw up Easter for me kids.

Scratch that.

HOCKEY is going to screw up Easter for my kids. Normally we're done weeks before Easter. Now I'm faced with packing up the crew and delivering the dog to it's Grandparents and THEN watch four games of hockey in a tournament before Easter Sunday.

There are no window clings up. There are no eggs dyed. There is nary a single piece of green plastic grass to indicate to the outside world that we celebrate Easter. It's like this weekend was WEEKS away and I am in denial big time.

And although the kids have yet to notice, I feel like I've let them down - dropped the ball as it were, as a parent. I'm the mom who DOES this crap. I DO the pumpkins at Halloween - not just one - but one for each member of the family. I have banners that scream "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" and I have hand painted ceramic Peter Rabbit with a wheelbarrow that I made B.C. (Before Children) that is really kick-ass. The kids love it. He's in a closet.

Can I tell you what I've spent my free time doing? Not really, but I can tell you, I haven't been sitting on my ass eating bon bons. One night bedtime was actually 12:50 A.M. because I was making muffins for snacks so we could be frugal during our big weekend in the city. THAT made for a fun day on the phones at work. There was the furious trip to a neighboring town to drop off The Big Guy's suit for dry cleaning before The Royal Wedding. That and the subsequent shopping took up the entire evening.

The only saving grace right now is that we will have an Easter celebration at my sister's house. But with the insanity of planning a Royal Wedding, putting finishing touches on her new home and recouperating from the stress of launching an environmental hair salon, I'm sure she's in worse shape than I'm in - and we expect her to COOK!

I now have to figure out how the Easter Bunny is going to arrive. Is he going to hit the house while we are away? (Imagine me filling plastic eggs with chocolate eggs and stashing them around the house in the 5 minutes I will have to "go to the bathroom" right before we leave as the kids sit in the truck) or do I say "Screw this" and set something up in our hotel room.

Right now - I'm at "Screw this".

Meet You in the Moonlight

Christmas had some truly special moments - family, friends and enough food to feed everyone on my street.

But one of the best moment was just me and Second Born Son.

Between Christmas and New Years I found myself sitting up way later than I should have been. I was punch drunk from the late night before - food, friends and laughter. The silence of the night was softly interrupted by SBS who was navigating down the hall for his nightly visit to the Salle de Bain. After I tucked him back in, I left his room and noticed the eerie light from outside and remembered that this was the night of the Blue Moon - defined as the second Full Moon of a month. A rare occurrence, it was drawn to my attention by a newscast earlier in the day.

I slipped back down to his room and whispered in his hear "Hey babe, do you want to see something really neat?" Instantly he was awake - more awake than he had been moments before.

I led him through the darkness of the house - having snapped off the lights and the TV to give the glow its most dramatic unveiling. But for some reason, it didn't impress the way I had hoped.

"Come here for a minute" I said, kicking off my slippers and sliding my feet instinctively into the winter boots I keep at the back door. I reached down, grabbed him around the waist and he reached for around my neck. It has been years since I've carried him. He's only 9, but he's big for his age and lifting him hasn't been an option.

But the moment was slipping away and I wanted him to see what I saw.

We stepped out into the night and the light shone on his face and his face shone on me. In spite of the wintery temperature, we clung to each other and he wondered in the beauty of the moon - brighter than any other he had seen and a truly unique shade.

I made a point of being very present in the moment and recorded it in my mind. Although it has only been a week, I've played it back in my mind dozens of times. I only hope he can remember...

After I returned him to his flannel sheets, a pain of guilt shot through me and I slipped into First Born Son's room. Selfishly I hoped I could relive the moment. I leaned over his form and whispered the same invitation, not once, but three times and was answered by a random elbow to the jaw.

The night was special for only two people that night. And one will never forget.

All I Want for Christmas

Just when I thought I was ahead of the Christmas rush, I find myself ridiculously behind.

Changing jobs provided me with a window of opportunity to get 90% of my shopping done. Nothing like a week in October to get the Christmas juices flowing. So by the first of December, I was calm as far as the shopping was concerned.

But I'm one of those crazy broads who still HAVE to do Christmas cards. Couldn't find a card I like after hunting high and low. While I don't consider myself a "Bible Thumper" I do like the idea of having a card that has some idea of the reason of the season - either angels, animals, nature etc. I'll pass on the flashy art deco cards - and unless the humor is particularly cutting and meaningful, I'll overlook funny cards.

With pen in hand, I sign each card for the entire family. No family shot this year - wasn't that organized between the health crisis and job change and bullying issues. And decided NOT to do a newsletter because although I think they have their place when you've actually had an eventful year "Suzy is doing just SUPER DUPER in Home Ec. class. We have high hopes for her!" the kind of news we've had this year really isn't uplifting. I've received the Debbie Downer Christmas Newsletters and I WON'T do that to others. If I care enough to give you a card, I'm not going to depress you.

"2009 was pretty much a crap year, starting with career strife in February, hockey issues that spilled over from 2008 and culminating in medical nightmares for The Big Guy and First Born Son."

Doesn't really scream MERRY CHRISTMAS now, does it.

I finally get them all sealed, including school photos for those who require them and leave them for The Big Guy to mail.

Then, I wait for it to begin.

Cuz really, the ONLY point in doing Christmas cards is to get them back. Like a perverse game of marbles - the more you get, the better you feel. And they slowly trickle in. My mother is traditionally the first one - hand delivered, usually at Second Born Son's birthday. We see or speak to each other regularly, so I don't expect a verse in her card.

But I must say, most of the other card senders must be suffering from what I'm afflicted with, because there aren't too many notes in these mailings. The odd "Hope to see you in the New Year!" but the majority are simply names under the preprinted verse. A couple don't even bother to write OUR names in the cards. Which really defeats the purpose entirely. If you don't want to acknowledge who we are, for God's Sake, save the tree they slaughtered to make the card.

This is the first year my sister hasn't sent me a card, and I will forgive her. After all, you can't expect someone who is starting their own business, just moved into a new home and planning a wedding in four months to actually think about greeting cards. Next year, entirely different matter..... :)

I also bake. Right now I only have three squares made, but in the past I made far too many, and we were eating soggy, freezer burnt squares until Valentines Day. My guys like them, but after a while the novelty wears off - you can only each so much marshmallow and graham crackers!

Perhaps all this Christmas expectation I have on myself and others is what has effectively killed my Christmas Spirit this year. I look at our tree - a real one, so the kids could experience it - and it's beautiful, but all I see is the haste we were in to put it up. The frustration with the new flooring not being installed for the Christmas Dinner we are hosting, and the lack of presents under it, because only half of them are wrapped.

It's only 7 days away, so Santa, please bring me some Christmas Warm Fuzzies!!!!