Treading water, but just barely....

This one is for Susan - who said "What's going on with the blog?" and to which I responded - "I HAVEN'T HAD TIME!" and for that I'm truly sorry....

The only way to do this right is to catch everyone up on the past two months which honestly seems like the blink of an eye, when I look back on it. Forgive me if break this up, because at some point, you'll want to sleep or eat or at least use the plumbing.

Mid August, the fam goes on holidays. We need to get away from the stress of the house selling and we decide to do something equally stressful - buy hockey equipment. On the way home to another ball game, one of the boys decides we should go camping. Sure, great idea, we can pitch the tent in the back yard...

"NO MOM - we mean REAL camping!" It was like Surround Sound. So, with a game ahead of me, the camping gear packed away and The Big Guy ready to book a site at a nearby campground, I realize, we should maybe let our realtor know we will be away from civilization for 48 hours. Make a mental note to call in the morning - as I will be up to midnight shopping (thank GOD for 24 hour grocery stores)and packing clothes.

Naturally, I forget to call said realtor in the morning, but instead he calls US! There's another offer on the second house we bid on and now we have to fish or cut bait. We know we want this house BAD, so we put the offer in and hope for the best. The Realtor says we should have an answer by the end of the day.

So by 10 a.m. we are off for our camping adventure - all the while laughing about what we might do with the house if we get it.

"You really shouldn't do that you know," pipes up Second Born Son.

"Do what?" I ask

"Get your hopes up, you'll only be disappointed if it doesn't work out." he replies.

I'm gobsmacked. We just got schooled by the 9 year old.

We set up our site, discuss our plan for the day and eat lunch. After some splash time in the river, we head out for a walk about the park. It's a 45 minute hike and we are on the way back to our site when we look across the valley and see a car remarkably familiar heading down the remote lane to our little campsite. It's the realtor's car.

The Big Guy and I look at each other - not a good sign - it's only been two hours and why would he come all the way here unless it was bad news? We are disappointed and the walk seems much longer as we find our way back to the little tent by the river. WRONG - it's GREAT news - we got the house, he brought the paperwork for us to finalize the deal and initial some minor changes. The camping adventure goes from fun to depressing to FREAKIN' AWESOME. The down side is - we won't move until Nov. 12 - and oh ya, we have to sell our house.

Now my sister had a philosophy. She said the offer on the first house didn't go through with our conditional sale because she feels we were buying the wrong house. So within 10 days of putting an offer on the second house, we have not one, but THREE offers on our little house. It's a whirlwind as we sit with offers around us and The Big Guy is in his glory because, yes people, THIS is what a Bidding War is all about.

In the end the deal is done, we are moving and just when we think there is SOOOO much time, it's back to school, hockey tryouts and just dealing with every day life.

...and it's two months later!

So....NOW what do you want to do?

If I close my eyes, I am back on the front steps of the house. You can't stand on that little porch any more because we put a much larger deck across the front.

I remember walking into the house and the furniture was all over the place, randomly positioned. There was a strange glow to everything - like the lighting was wrong and there was a haze in the air. I was convinced this was April, but apparently, it was November!

Each room had it's own unique look - pink shag with hot pink walls in one room, matching green shag and walls in another, so naturally, the third room was blue. There was no character to the house. It was just over 1,000 sq ft. and from the outside, looked like a big peach box with a bright "Farmer Green" roof. The main living area was an odd shade of Harvest Yellow that matched the rather dated linoleum floor in the kitchen and the dark brown shag carpet adjacent to it. Once we moved in, we would soon realize the walls were actually off-white. The nicotine stains from the farmer's heavy smoking had stained all the walls with a very antique layer of crap that had to be scrubbed off before we started to paint.

I was keen to buy, not because it was a fabulous piece of real estate (mind you the lot was HUGE by town comparisons - but nary a tree for privacy.) but because The Big Guy wouldn't set a date for the wedding until we had a house. He was afraid people would think we weren't going to start life off right if we didn't have a home. The plan was to rent it out for a year or so, then freshen it up for our new life together. (Don't get me going on the perils of waiting 2 years and 2 months to get married!)

We came back the next day - because this particular house was going to be sold by AUCTION. The family of the late owner, a farmer...surprise, surprise....had his entire estate ready to spread out on the lawn.

The Auctioneer stopped the bidding twice because the minimum asking price was not reached. We recognized two of the opposing bidders and fumed - more retired farmers with more coin than we hoped to have in a lifetime - bidding up this plain little house. The Big Guy had veins popping all over the place - could have been because he'd never bid on anything in his entire life, never mind a HOUSE! I removed myself from the stress by walking the lot and spending a lot of time in the area where our children now have a sandbox.

Finally, we got the winning bid. We were home owners. It was a combination of wanting to jump up and down and scream, and projectile vomit.

We became a couple at this house. We became a family here too. We raised plants, dogs and then kids. When we outgrew the house, we adding roughly 200 sq ft. and made the plain little house a smart little bungalow, complete with a custom kitchen and massive master bedroom with en suite bathroom.

We entertained friends here. Had our babies first birthdays here. Their heights are marked on the stud in the basement. The Big Guy has fixed all the quirky things about the house and he knows where all the pipes are buried.

But today, it's going on the real estate market.

And - maybe nothing will happen. It's truly a fishing expedition. We have found another house, that needs some love and attention, but there is more space for TBG's modest landscape business. It's in a beautiful area of town with views in three directions. I've always liked the idea of being up on a hill - to see far away from where I am. I also want to live on the water. Not sure how to make this work - but given the river is not far from either of these houses - I'm going to take it!

First Born Son and Second Born Son are equally jazzed at the idea and have tackled their rooms with a zeal rarely seen. I will spend the weekend packing up personal photos and items that should not be left lying around when strangers come through your home.

As I signed the paperwork to list the house, I had an instant flashback to the day I signed the paperwork to buy the house - two feet away from where I was sitting. Life is an interesting journey and if this is meant to be, it will be.

If not, I will gladly hunker down in my little house for many more years.

The Royal Wedding - Part II

So tomorrow is the big day. Little Sister is getting married. It's been an interesting journey since none of us has any experience in second weddings.

We all, however, were terrified of doing something wrong when it came to etiquette.

Originally, LS wanted to get on a plane and get married down South. A beautiful island wedding that would eliminate the need for a big affair, the pressure for guests to buy presents and yet still have an amazing backdrop for her wedding with close family members.

Except my future brother-in-law has two kids and get them in and out of the country would have been a MOTHER of a problem - if you know what I mean.

The second option was to hold the wedding at my parents' home. Ironically, I wanted to have our wedding at Mom & Dad's but The Big Guy sided with my mother and they refused my father's and my pleas that we could get a tent and beat Mother Nature. So I ended up in a church. LS isn't getting her way either, since my parents are that much older and are not keen on the idea of 50+ people trotting through their home looking for the washroom that connects to the back yard septic. Flush that idea....

She was able to find a church that had been purchased and renovated by a private investor. The facility is beautiful and unique. The ceremony will take place upstairs in what was the sanctuary, then we leave for photos, followed by a reception in the lower level. Think exposed wood beams, stone walls - a very Medieval look. Once the ceremony is over, the staff will dismantle the seating and set the area up for the dance. So for anyone coming a distance, they don't have to drive until it is time to go home.

The next question was, how big a wedding is this going to be? The groom has 7 other siblings, so that answered it pretty quick. Even without friends the invite list was 36 people - including my family, the bridal party and necessary children. I believe the final count is 58 for dinner.

What about gifts? What is the appropriate wording for NOT asking for a gift. Many of the nearest and dearest of the 100 who made the final invite list had already given gifts to the bride and groom's first nuptials. I suggested donations to a local charity and anyone who was particularly adamant about giving a gift could do so. You can't stop someone from giving you a present!

Does the bride need to be "given away" again? The joke around the house lately has been that Dad gave her away the first time, and it didn't take! She's decided to walk herself down the aisle and then have a father/daughter dance. There won't be a veil, but there is one kick-ass dress and as I've mentioned previously, we have bridesmaids and ushers - though in a less conventional fashion.

I can't give away too much more for fear of being kicked out of the wedding party, but suffice it to say that the only rule about second weddings is that there are NO RULES. As long as you don't try to be too gaudy (which, let's face it, you try to avoid in first weddings too) then you are likely on the right track.

Hopefully we'll have a pix or two for posting next week.

CONGRATS LS AND C2

Meet You in the Moonlight

Christmas had some truly special moments - family, friends and enough food to feed everyone on my street.

But one of the best moment was just me and Second Born Son.

Between Christmas and New Years I found myself sitting up way later than I should have been. I was punch drunk from the late night before - food, friends and laughter. The silence of the night was softly interrupted by SBS who was navigating down the hall for his nightly visit to the Salle de Bain. After I tucked him back in, I left his room and noticed the eerie light from outside and remembered that this was the night of the Blue Moon - defined as the second Full Moon of a month. A rare occurrence, it was drawn to my attention by a newscast earlier in the day.

I slipped back down to his room and whispered in his hear "Hey babe, do you want to see something really neat?" Instantly he was awake - more awake than he had been moments before.

I led him through the darkness of the house - having snapped off the lights and the TV to give the glow its most dramatic unveiling. But for some reason, it didn't impress the way I had hoped.

"Come here for a minute" I said, kicking off my slippers and sliding my feet instinctively into the winter boots I keep at the back door. I reached down, grabbed him around the waist and he reached for around my neck. It has been years since I've carried him. He's only 9, but he's big for his age and lifting him hasn't been an option.

But the moment was slipping away and I wanted him to see what I saw.

We stepped out into the night and the light shone on his face and his face shone on me. In spite of the wintery temperature, we clung to each other and he wondered in the beauty of the moon - brighter than any other he had seen and a truly unique shade.

I made a point of being very present in the moment and recorded it in my mind. Although it has only been a week, I've played it back in my mind dozens of times. I only hope he can remember...

After I returned him to his flannel sheets, a pain of guilt shot through me and I slipped into First Born Son's room. Selfishly I hoped I could relive the moment. I leaned over his form and whispered the same invitation, not once, but three times and was answered by a random elbow to the jaw.

The night was special for only two people that night. And one will never forget.

Tales from the First Table Beside the Dance Floor

We haven't had the opportunity to go to a lot of weddings lately - mostly because we are in that dry spell between all of our friends finishing getting hitched, and none of our kids old enough to say "I do".

So when the invite to K's wedding came mid summer, The Big Guy and I were thrilled. K & J were married last weekend - and it was a beautiful ceremony, followed by a fun reception. But as I took in the festivities, it occurred to me that there needs to be a handbook on how to be a Wedding Guest.

1. Thou Shall be in the Church well before the Bride.
While it's easy to lose track of time, the day of a wedding is not the day to do it. At my wedding, guests tried to wave at me in the car waiting outside the church - only to receive a snarky response from the bride. I mean, after all, I waited years to get to this moment, and NOW you want to have a chat?? Get you ass in a seat people - we have the whole night to catch up!!!

2. Thou Shalt Not give service Play by Play.
It doesn't matter what's going on, a pew is no place to give play by play of the service. "What is he wearing??" "They aren't bad singers." or commentary on the drama involving the groom's aunt the week before the wedding are not suitable topics. The respect the rest of the guests are offering by staying silent makes your commentary about as subtle as mortar fire. Save it for the car ride to the reception.

3. Speak No Evil.
If you are honored enough to be asked to participate in the wedding party, you have to obey the rules of the Wedding Party. The first rule is NEVER EMBARASS THE BRIDE. Awkward stories of the the bride's first intoxicated encounter with the groom aren't likely the best option - considering her beloved grandfather is sitting at the front table and having a difficult time chewing on the notion that his little "Kitten" sucks down beer bongs like nobody's business.

4. Know Your Limit, Drink Within It.
The point of a wedding is to celebrate the joining of two lives. This includes good food, good drink and good company. When Good Drink comes before the rest, you get a couple of interesting side shows. The newlyweds should be the talk of the night, not the drunk co-worker who blacked out on the way to the washroom.

5. Dance like Everyone is Watching.
Let's face it, we all like to cut a rug at a wedding. Even fun ditties like The Chicken Dance have a certain charm that get guests on the floor. While it's great fun to get lost in Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody, one shouldn't forget that your are basically on a stage. This is not the time to bump and grind with your date. It is, however, a good time to spot check your ensemble. Slipping pants, creeping skirts and glimpses of Spanx have no place on a dance floor.

Just doin' my bit to ensure the Bride and Groom are the centre of attention!!!

Age is but a Number

I don't have a problem with my age.

Today, I'm 38.

I've never understood the issue some people have with stating how old they are, or in fact, celebrating their birthday. It's an ongoing exchange with my mother when we swing around her birthday in August.

"We'd like to have you in for dinner for your birthday on Sunday," says I.

"OH, you DON'T have to do THAT," says Mom.

"I know I DON'T have to do THAT," I reply. "I WANT to."

"But you are so busy. I don't want you to go to any trouble. It's no big deal." she rationalizes.

Cue crickets.

I have quelled the urge to hand her a peanut butter sandwich and tell her to clean up after herself.

The reason I feel this is important is that kids often have a lot about them. It's great! Christmas, Easter, Halloween, birthdays....etc. But as important as it is for us to celebrate our children, it is equally important for us to show them how to celebrate their elders. Respect those who have gone before. Make them think about giving something to someone else.

So in my family, we celebrate Gramma, Poppa, Cousins, and Aunts and Uncles birthdays. The kids have come to expect it and actually enjoy the idea of marking the occasion.

Is it society's fascination with the young and beautiful that we resist the urge to honor aging? A sad commentary indeed.

I can still remember sitting in the high school gym in my Grade 9 year with the principal on the stage urging the student body to enjoy the next four years (yup - in the OLD days we had a Grade 13!!!) as they would be "best of your life."

I would LOVE to run in to him again. Not only was high school NOT the best four years of my life, but I feel I'm just ramping up into them! Aside from the arrivals of my sons, I do feel that my best days are coming. Time brings more confidence, insight, perspective and intuition that I would have KILLED for in my teens.

So don't hide your age. Celebrate another year here! Enjoy the BIG slice of cake. This acceptance is the greatest gift you will ever give yourself!

In a Time Out

Hello All,

Sorry for the delay in posts. Holidays have created a non-schedule, it would seem and I hope to get back in the saddle in the next day or so. Hold tight and enjoy the last few summer-ish days we have left!

s

Hang on! It's a wild ride!!!!